I have been struggling lately and it is not exactly what you think. Work and life have been buay lately and stress has been high but that is not what I am talking about now.

September was a bad month for me, sure I got to travel for a day, spend time with friends and also complete my first Triathlon, but on the more personal level I struggled, big time. This is tough for me to admit, but I struggled with my eating. In the last month I have gained around 10 pounds (4.5kg) and although that doesn’t sound like much if I leave it the way it is, it could get worse.

This all stems back to Hong Kong and my injury, after that I think I have had some depression as I couldn’t do the one thing I loved, run. But the training I was doing helped offset whatever eating I was doing that was not healthy. I was binge eating at times and was ashamed to admit it. Well no longer. It all came undone in the final weeks of September no matter how much I tried to change, I slipped and went back to “old habits”.

October is a fresh start for me, it won’t be easy as I am traveling quite a bit, but I am going to do my very best to stay in control, if people don’t like it, tough shit to them, this is about my health, fuck anyone else. What it means right now to me is that I need to get back in control, my exercise hasn’t faltered over the past few months, so that won’t change. What will change is the way I have been thinking, no more “Just one won’t hurt”, that is just a lie to myself. No more weekly treats till this changes and even then I am going to really control it afterwards until my brain ia back to the way it was, before this all happened.

I have no one to blame but myself and I hope that those around me will be supporting of my wishes. I won’t be doing anything food related socially for a while, I just don’t want the temptation right now, and this upcoming trip is going to be a real test. Part of me thinks I should just worry about it when I get back but that isn’t going to help. Doing this now will mean that when I get back I will be all the better for it.

I hope.

With the triathlon over, my life returns to normal, if you could ever call it that. It is kind of wierd not swimming or having to push hard in my runs or training and a week of recovery, so far, has been good to me.

I have been running the last three mornings on my old 5k routes something I haven’t done in a while. My body is taking it in strides, though sometimes it isn’t to happy. Come down from the triathlon was fairly good and after the day of rest Sunday I actually felt pretty good on Monday. Though for some reason my finger feels like it’s broken, no idea why.

Looking forward to a slow week training wise, but work has been insane and I’ve been pushing extra hours as usual (so much for taking it easy this week). At least I have the weekend to relax and get away with a trip up over the border planned again.

Today being September 11th, a lot of people are making the usual statements about rembrance etc, but I won’t do that. I was in Australia 12 years ago and although it didn’t really affect me directly, it did in some ways, but over all today doesn’t have the impact on me that it does on others. So I will just make it short. A lot of people died that day in vain, and they deserve to be remembered. Those who have served since then to right the wrongs caused that day have my utmost respect and admiration. Now back to your average blogging about crap and stuff.

A week full of hard training and sacrifice paid off really well. I was super nervous last night when I showed up at Cottage Lake to pick up my race packet, and I explored a little to scope out the scene for this morning. I was especially nervous about the swim but when I saw the buoys out in the water, I calmed down a little because it didn’t look to far. I signed my life away, picked up my stuff and headed on home to set up my gear and get myself some sleep.

From Seattle Life 2013

Fast forward to this morning after I barely slept and in the end, I just packed it all up and headed on out to Cottage Lake. It wasn’t the best weather, definitely the usual Seattle grey, however I wasn’t to worried, as long as it didn’t pour down, I would be fine. I spent most of the time setting up my gear, walking around scoping things out and trying to adjust to the cold cold water. The lake was DAMN cold and even a pre race quick dunk didn’t help, I think it just made me even more colder.

From Seattle Life 2013
From Seattle Life 2013

I had scored a pretty good space for transition, my race number was 24 and I wondered what it meant from the start. However what it meant was that I was in the first Wave behind the elites (aka crazy people who do two tris back to back), so my race number had me on the first rack for the transition area inside the entry!! However I didn’t quite score the ideal spot that was nabbed by someone else but I was still pretty happy with what I had. Race time came about and the nerves kicked in. When the elites hit the water, we were less than 60 seconds behind them. Nervous as hell when they gave the 10 second warning, I had a little bit of a thought of “what the hell am I doing” and then “Bang” off we go. I waited back a few seconds to let the rest of my wave hit the water ahead of me, and then I hit the water, starting my first ever Triathlon.

The swim was just wierd. I had to stop at one point because the water was really cold. But i sucked it up and kept pushing. The sensation of swimming in the lake was really weird as at times I had fish swimming against me, or some seaweed below me. Just random. When I turned the second buoy heading into the final portion back to the start I was passed by the lead elements of the wave behind me. O dear! I got out of the water when I reached the end and got moving quickly. Focusing on transition and as soon as I got my stuff, I threw my stuff on and got on that bike. The swim went well and I figured I had done about 12 mins or so and my transition though slower than I had trained for (if you call it training) was not to bad.

The ride was much better than I expected and although there was a hill at the back of the course and had me in the lowest of low gears on my bike, at a couple of points I was in the highest gears struggling to get more speed had it been possible. I was FLYING at a couple of points. The two laps just flew by and before I knew it I was pulling off. During the ride I was passed several times by lots of different people. I was lapped by an elite rider about 1km out of transition, he was on his 2nd lap of his bike while I had barely started. Those guys are freaking NUTSO! I passed a number of people and they passed me back a few seconds later. I was contending with an older guy from the wave behind me who had saddle bags on the side of his bike. That was shameful I swear, getting beaten by a guy on a commuting bike!

When I was out riding my first lap I rode past a checkpoint and thought I heard someone say my name. Not really sure if I saw anyone or anything really, I just kept on riding and put it out of my mind. When I got off the bike though and hit the run, I saw Shanwa so I knew I had friends around! My Bike to Run transition wasn’t as smooth as it could of been but I shoved my wet feet in my shoes and kept on moving, knowing that now was my time to move. Move I DID! I started passing people left and right and knew I had it in the bag. When I looked at my watch (which I hadn’t till tht point), I was SHOCKED. I was WAY ahead of the time I expected and pushed even harder, knowing I could possibly make a really good time.

The run went flawless and as I turned the final corner to the end I saw my friends, threw them a wave and focused again. It was then over the line and done!!!

From Seattle Life 2013

The post race set up was great, and whoever’s idea it was to have Peanut Butter and Honey sandwhiches for the recovery food choices deserves a freaking medal. It was epic and just what I needed. Caught up with my friends for a bit and packed up my stuff and headed off, medal and some swag in hand.

From Seattle Life 2013

Looking back at the Tri Now, I am ecstatic with my time and when I got my Final Results this afternoon I was even more happy. I ranked 115th out of 220 overall. Pretty good if you ask me for my first Triathlon. Considering just over 2 years ago I had never even ridden a bike, I couldn’t be happier. But breaking down the stats is where you see some goodness. Although my swim was nothing special, my Bike was 35 minutes, a solid 10 minutes FASTER than anything I had done before. Next up the Run stat just made me happy. I placed 46th overall in the Run Leg, 4th in my Age group! With a time a few seconds shy of 13 minutes, that puts me in 5k race pace.

Would I do a try again? Right now… no. I am going to rest up and slack off before I pass out. Next year? well, time will tell. I think a mixture of adrenalin, stupidity and just downright force of will got me through this race, as I almost gave up in the swim. Part of me thinks that I could definitely do it again, just not sure if I will.

The final training for the Triathlon is completed!!! I did my final swim session tonight after solid daily swims since Monday. My arms are killing me but meh.. the things you do. The funny thing is I have had less people in the Gym pool (a real pool mind you) than at the apartment pool. Not having to dodge children, having marked lanes and everything was like shear bliss. It was even heated to a reasonable temperature. What is this world coming to!! Funny thing was even though there was a lifeguard on duty, they had no idea. I asked a few different staff how long the pool was and none of them had any idea. One of them said and I quote “It’s a pool”. Wow… smart! With tonight though that ends my time of ripping off Golds Gym in Woodinville. thanks guys.. its been grand! The gym was good, had great equipment and facilities but it was just a factory for workouts really. To big, filled with meatheads and didn’t at all feel personal, add on the fact that it wasn’t 24 hours. Not my kind of gym.

With the big day now approaching, tomorrow i taper with only a 10k ride on the exercise bikes at the apartment gym in the morning and tomorrow night is packet pick up ready for race day. I will get a chance to scope out the transition area and also scope out the ride course (as I forgot to do that on Monday). For anyone wanting to come support me on Saturday or to just come laugh heres some information for you all.

The Triathlon is based at Cottage Lake in Woodinville which is here. Transition is located in the park, while the swim will be in the lake itself. The ride and run in the local area based out of the park. The race maps can all be found here.

On Saturday morning the transition area opens up at 630am and I should be there between 630am and 7am but only competitors are allowed in there. I won’t have my phone on me more than likely (As theres no secure facilities) but the whole area should be open enough if you want to see me. I should be at the swim starting area around 745am and my wave hits the water at exactly 8:01am. I will be marked with my race number (24) so if you need to see me, just look for the number. I expect to take about 90 mins all up for all 3 legs and transitions so should finish somewhere between 8 and 9am I hope. where in that time I have no idea. The only thing I ask is if you come see me… Take heaps of photos for me!!

If you want to try and spot me easily just look for me in my tri suit which looks exactly like the one I mentioned in a previous post. It won’t look pretty but it will do the job, during the run though I will have on a white tank top but you should be able to see my race number pretty easily then. Right now it’s time to start to rest a little, get at least SOME sleep before the big day Saturday. After the race on Saturday, I swear I am not getting in the water to do laps again for at LEAST a good 12 months… hopefully.

Since Yena left me on Saturday afternoon, it was time to get back to the grind. The goal for the weekend was to get in a number of training sessions prior to next weeks triathlon. Pretty much the rest of my weekend after all of the shenanigans was just going to be boring. So other than the training for the triathlon I was intending on catching up with all the missed work from Friday (and there was quite a bit) and doing the usual weekend chores along with a few extras.

First though let’s look at all my “training”. The pool was still closed unfortunately so that just got me really pissed off. Sunday morning was another Bike & Run training session with a Bike to Run transition thrown in for good measure. The ride went well and the servicing done was a smart idea because I knocked a good 15 minutes off my time. Ahh the benefits of actually having a working bike! I have the transition narrowed down now and things are looking good. On Monday morning I did the same two sessions BUT this time I added a pre bike transition. Normally this would be a Swim to Bike transition, but without a swim I just tried to replicate what it would be like. Running barefoot across the car park to my truck and getting going from there was the idea and although my transitions aren’t exactly perfect, they are good enough to get me through it without taking forever.

Without a pool though, what was I meant to do? I need to get some swimming in before next Saturday or things are not going to go well at all! So after a friend gave me a little push to check things out, I found a local gym (about a 10 minute drive away) that has a pool, along with a free week trial. Sorry to say but I am just going to use them for their pool for 4 days. I took my first swim at the pool on Monday and man it felt weird swimming in a proper pool, with lap lanes and everything. Totally not something I am used to at all, but I only have 3 more days of swimming left.

My training plans for the rest of the week are pretty much to focus on a run in the morning on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday, with swims every evening. Then Friday I will go into hold back with just some time on the exercise bike Friday morning and then nothing Friday night other than picking up my race packet. Final week of training planned!

The rest of my weekend was spent cleaning up the house after I tried to unclog my bathroom sink (it hadn’t been draining properly for a week or two now) and with lots of frustration, a boat load of baking soda & vinegar, a bottle of draino (that didn’t do much at all), a little bit of elbow grease and a whole lot of disgusting crap, I got it cleaned in two hours. I also spent a good portion of Sunday working from home and some time on Monday in the office working as well. The things you do to stay employed!

A big week ahead, I don’t expect to get much sleep this week, so Will head to bed early tonight (hopefully) to try and get a least one night of half decent sleep. The rest of the week is going to be full on!

My god the triathlon is less than 2 weeks away and now I need to get serious.

It is tough to fit all the training I need to do around everything else with friends and family visiting, it is not an ideal situation. But I have already paid the entry fee and invested almost 3 months of my life to this tri, it is to late to turn back now.

I am improving and the individual legs don’t worry me it is just mixing it all together! The transitions etc worry me the most and if that’s the worst on my mind then that’s not to bad right?

Time will tell how it all goes but I think its time to get more focused on my training, everything else comes second right?

This morning was a big step in my triathlon training. For the first time this morning I did all 3 of my legs in the same period. Unlike last week where I was practicing transition, today was about making sure that I could do all three legs. Even though they were out of order (Ride, Run, Swim when it should be Swim, Ride Run) damn it was not easy!

My ride was down on the Burke Gilman Trail again, because it’s flat and because it gives me something different to look at rather than the local streets. But that wasn’t a smart idea this morning because when I first got moving, a big string of cyclists almost pushed me off the path. Figured it was just a bunch of idiots out for their morning ride. Then another string passed me, and another, it was like a continuous procession of cyclists. I am usually out for these rides around 6ish so that it is quiet and I still have plenty of time in the morning to do things. Well it turns out I ran into the waves of riders heading on the RSVP Seattle to Vancouver ride. Ahhhh crap! All morning on my first leg all I heard was “rider ahead”, then when I turned around all I heard was “Passing on your left” every few seconds. When I had about 5ks left to go, all I heard after that was “Passing on your left” then seconds later “your back tyre is flat”. It was great for them to all be so nice, but it got old, REALLY fast. I was going to get the bike serviced after the Tri, but if I had a flat tyre, might as well get it done now and get the tyre fixed at the same time.

As soon as I got back to the truck, I tried to transition as quick as possible, and managed about 3-4 minutes before I was back on the trail, this time going the opposite direction to the way I had just ridden. I had found that trail continues under a tunnel and then splits in two. Hoping that I could get a bit of quiet without the bikes running me over. It was a good quick run and I felt like I was back on pace. I was under 6min kms which is my usual timing so I was certainly happy with that. Knocking out a 2.5km run in less than 15 minutes. Gotta be happy with that. It was also the second run in the tri suit, which I REALLY need to get used to, so tomorrow I am going to do just that, a 5k run in the morning in the Tri Suit to try and get used to it (running Punishment Hill for the first time in months!).

By the time I got back to the apartment though, I was drained & I still had laps to do. Considering I only need to do around 350-400m of swimming that equates to roughly 30 laps of the complex pool. I usually swim about 40 (got that down to about 18 mins) so decided that since I was distance training today, I will stick to 30 laps. Kind of glad I did because when I got out of the pool, I was just shattered. My calves were burning and it felt like I was going round for round with a bear or something. I was looking forward to a shower!

I think my training is improving and I know I can do this tri, but part of me thinks that I am an utter moron for doing this along with the fact that I kind of wish I had not entered the tri now. But that would be copping out now wouldn’t it. I am not a quitter and I have invested way to much time (been swimming for almost 3 months now) and money ($100 just in entry fee) to give up now. So I keep pushing, I keep trying and who knows how it is going to go on the day… as long as I get it done!

Things are progressing towards my triathlon about 6 weeks away and I have realised 1 thing over the last weekend. Triathlons are expensive! The entry fee alone is almost $90 but I guess I have to eat that with this challenge. Considering its a run, a ride and a swim that’s three entry fees combined into one (at least that’s what I keep telling myself). The other thing that is expensive is the gear!

I went shopping on Saturday to get my tri gear and god damn! It is not cheap at all. 2 pieces of clothing set me back almost $160 with tax! Not cheap at all. If I had of thought of this earlier i probably could of saved money and bought it all through the web (and earned a boat load of more points in the process) but sadly my pre thinking did not happen and I wanted to try and get in some training before the big trip out to Osh next week. $160 for two pieces of clothing, what is so good about them… well this is what they look like:

As you can see, there isn’t much clothing there at all, and they definately don’t leave much to imagination. The clothes may not look like much, but god damn are they worth it! The shorts are designed so that you can run, swim and ride in them, so there is minimal padding in the groin region but just enough to keep you from wanting to kill things due to the pain. It’s also designed to dry off super quick, so that when you start to ride or run, you aren’t dripping wet. The downside to these are that they are super tight obviously and also the same with the top. It’s meant to be tight to cover you up and wick away any sweat etc, but that just makes it all the more hideous looking. I pity the people who will see me on race day!

So what makes them worth it other than how good they are? Well it’s amazing how well things go when you have something that actually works. My swimming time has dropped dramatically and the new goggles I got at the same time (since the other ones actually fell apart) have helped me get more focused and do really help. I don’t have to stop every few laps to fix the goggles on my face, they just work and with the new tri gear, since its tighter, it’s not slowing me down. My first swim way back when was 28 mins for the 30 laps. Today i smashed it out in 14 minutes! I may have been totally out of breath and shattered after, but doesn’t that mean I have had a good work out.

So I say sorry in advance to anyone that sees me in the tri gear, but it’s worth it dealing with how horrendous I look for the benefits it gives back

The last few days (well since Saturday) I have felt that my leg is slowly improving, and by slowly I mean slowly. Ever since I got told what I had strained and how to combat it, i have been working on the stretches and the fixes. It seems to be working.

This should show you by how much:

Yep those say run. I have managed to get in two runs and come out fairly ok. I am not going to over do it and those runs if you look at the lap times (since it auto laps at 1km) I am running intervals. 1km on, 1km off. With 3km on and 2 km off total, it turned out pretty well. The last km is usually the most painful, the 2nd run usually the most comfortable, as my leg has usually warmed up by that point.

I don’t know if it is working or not, but I sure am happy that I can at least run partially, sure beats spending all my time on the bike lately, but even that has it’s moments.

Just over 3 years ago (well 3 years and 1 week) I completed the first of my challenges in my goals that would change my life. I am sure you have all read about my story to change my life. Looking back I looked very different back then, I look very different now compared to that day as well. From start to finish it was a total transformation. The thing that most people assume though is that everything in my life is all hunky dory and that it is all 100% guaranteed that I have lost all the weight and it won’t ever come back. That is far from the truth.

Each day I wake up and I struggle. I still have days when I wake up and think to myself “I don’t want to do this” right before I head off for a workout. 5 more minutes or sleep, or a day of rest is all I want some days, but i push through it and keep going. This is my life now, I could go back to the way I was but I don’t want that. I still run (well after this injury is worked out, I will be) and I still challenge myself all the time. My nutritionist once said to me that if I could keep the weight off for 3 years straight, that the chances of me keeping the weight off for the rest of my life would be 90% higher.

It’s that 10% that worries me sometimes. I still struggle with the food some days. I have to stop myself so much from eating to much crap and lately since the injury it has been even harder to stop myself from eating the stuff I shouldn’t be and saying to myself “well when I get over this injury I can just lose it all again”. But that just won’t help me much at all. Those kinds of lies are just dumb. So I have to constantly be tough on myself, work hard, give myself those slaps to the face that I need at times. Right now I wish i could run Punishment Hill to remind myself just what happens when I screw up. It was as it says my punishment for when things went not the way they should.

So to all of those who struggle with weightloss or getting fit or staying fit, don’t worry, we all do… no matter what!