At the moment I am in what I like to call a transition phase. I have a job, but it hasn’t started yet, so I am really just taking each day as it comes. The only problem is, I am someone who has not had this much time off in years without going somewhere or doing something. This may seem like a vacation, but it isn’t.
Sure it is good to be getting up at 7:30 in the morning and rolling out of bed slowly. Drinking coffee till lunch time is fun as well, but it just gets a little bit boring. If you know me really well, you know I have a tendancy to over think things. I have a habit of just thinking way to much on one thing and causing myself problems. Like Monday night, I was meant to cook dinner for Heidi when she got home from Uni, however because I didn’t know what time she was going to be home I waited. Part of me was thinking to myself “just cook now, she can reheat” and I was to busy beating that part of me up and saying “stop it, cook when she leaves so it will be hot when she gets home”. Sadly I spent almost 45 minutes doing that dance, so when I finally did hear from Heidi, she was just getting home, and I had not even started cooking. *sigh*
I don’t know how to stop myself from over thinking at times. I do have stuff to do, but there are days like yesterday where I just get bored sitting around. I want to be able to keep my brain doing things for enough that I can still tune out for some part of the day. The sad thing is I just don’t know how to do that sometimes. Days like today where I have an appointment pushed back tend to turn into a mess for me. I like to plan things, so I have a way of controlling my time, my thoughts and what I do. I am not someone who likes to sit around doing nothing. Sadly that is my life right now, and I need to get used to it. These two things just don’t like each other.
So what am I going to do for the next week? Well I know that since I have spent a total of 1 hour with my wife all week (not including sleeping in the same bed) I am looking forward to spending some time with her (which will wait for Saturday). Tomorrow I want to get out and get some spotting done and Sunday will probably be spent doing chores (cleaning, shopping). At least I know that Friday afternoon around 1pm, I am back employed and looking forward to getting my brain in gear, Even if it means 7am starts *sigh*
I feel like I’m in a similar boat lately, Mal. I’ve been living the “freelance life” for about 6 months with some very mixed feelings. I like the flexibility and the work, but I hate the constant hustling to find work and the complete lack of any job security. But it’s probably just something that I’m gonna have to get used to for now.
Next week I go “full time” on a show for the foreseeable future. That is to say I’ll be doing 8 shows a week until they decide to close the show. The guaranteed paycheck is good, but it means I’m only really home on Monday night. So the only real time I’ll have to spend d with the family is in the mornings if I can drag myself out of bed after getting home at 11:30 or 12:30.