I have been struggling lately and it is not exactly what you think. Work and life have been buay lately and stress has been high but that is not what I am talking about now. <\/p>\n
September was a bad month for me, sure I got to travel for a day, spend time with friends and also complete my first Triathlon, but on the more personal level I struggled, big time. This is tough for me to admit, but I struggled with my eating. In the last month I have gained around 10 pounds (4.5kg) and although that doesn’t sound like much if I leave it the way it is, it could get worse. <\/p>\n
This all stems back to Hong Kong and my injury, after that I think I have had some depression as I couldn’t do the one thing I loved, run. But the training I was doing helped offset whatever eating I was doing that was not healthy. I was binge eating at times and was ashamed to admit it. Well no longer. It all came undone in the final weeks of September no matter how much I tried to change, I slipped and went back to “old habits”. <\/p>\n
October is a fresh start for me, it won’t be easy as I am traveling quite a bit, but I am going to do my very best to stay in control, if people don’t like it, tough shit to them, this is about my health, fuck anyone else. What it means right now to me is that I need to get back in control, my exercise hasn’t faltered over the past few months, so that won’t change. What will change is the way I have been thinking, no more “Just one won’t hurt”, that is just a lie to myself. No more weekly treats till this changes and even then I am going to really control it afterwards until my brain ia back to the way it was, before this all happened. <\/p>\n
I have no one to blame but myself and I hope that those around me will be supporting of my wishes. I won’t be doing anything food related socially for a while, I just don’t want the temptation right now, and this upcoming trip is going to be a real test. Part of me thinks I should just worry about it when I get back but that isn’t going to help. Doing this now will mean that when I get back I will be all the better for it. <\/p>\n
I hope.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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